Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself I’ll find other ways to be happy Vol 00 Chp 149

Asses and Boobs versus Claws and Fangs

In a deadly melee with one side possessing the virtues of asses and boobs, and the other side possessing the virtues of claws and fangs, who would win? 

Well, logic would dictate that claws and fangs would win. 

Logic did not apply in the same way in this world as it did in Devon’s previous world. 

The all-female amazonian warrior troupe was fearless and efficient in their combat style, not even compromising sexiness as they danced in and out of the fray against the jaguars. Each time a jaguar lunged at them, an amazonian would block. They fought using a triangular fighting formation with three busty female warriors to form a unit, allowing them to block from virtually any angle. 

Granted, that kind of defense was not infallible, but it sure as hell was good enough against the overgrown jaguars. 

Devon groped the ass of a nearby female amazon warrior out of sheer instinct, his hand reaching out and palming her squishy butt like he was back at the shrine ritual. But he soon remembered that this was a new day, and he retrieved his hand sheepishly. The female warrior simply grinned and winked at him, before twirling away to fight again, her round bubble butt swinging into full display to him now that she had her back facing him. 

With the addition of the amazon warriors, the jaguars were being subdued at a much faster rate and additional dwarven casualties fell to zero. Devon got his own piece of the action and killed three more of the beasts, adding a nice amount of points onto his obsidian card. He couldn’t wait to get back to civilization and find a guild to check out his new points rewards. It kind of reminded him like a credit card rewards system back on earth, except the points system here was a lot more fantasy and magic related here in this world. 

“Blimey, you gals arrived on time alright!” the leader dwarf said with a big smile when the melee died down and the remaining jaguars were either killed or fled by the large breasted female warriors and the dwarf caravaneers with their siege weapons and maces. 

“Of course, we can’t let you die here for all the things you’ve done for us over the years,” the large chested Vesta with blue triangle warpaint on her cheeks replied.  

“It’s a miracle that we even have running water back at camp, and it’s all thanks to you dwarves,” Vesta continued.

“Oh, that was nothing. Hahaha!” the dwarf replied. “Just a bit ‘o tinkering with the mountain involved with that, you know. Ol’ Hrothgar’s gotta take a leak somewhere, right?”

Vesta’s face looked quizzical at that comment, but Devon nearly choked on his own spit from that sentence. The dwarves referred to the amazon warriors’ life sustaining stream of mountain springwater as their dwarven god Hrothgar’s personal piss-leak from the mountain… it was fitting metaphorically, what with the dwarves regarding the mountain itself as their fatherly guardian primogenitor god, but the image of the old dwarven forgemaster god taking a leak from the side of the mountain into the waiting mouths of the lovely all-female amazon tribe at the base of their camp just seemed crass to say the least.

Like, come on…

But judging by Vesta’s face, she didn’t get it. Thank god.

The dwarves spent the rest of the day dismantling their wall torch lamps and packing up their siege weapons, and then some mining and exploration in the cavern, as the amazons stripped the jaguars of their skin and butchered up the meat for consumption later. 

Since it would take a while to get back to base, they decided to set up camp here for today. Devon helped gather some firewood for a large bonfire in the entrance of the cavern, which provided a decent roof over their head as the sky darkened and it began to rain outside the cave. 

The meat was deposited into a large cauldron alongside some hand picked herbs and mushrooms and wild vegetables, which was then seasoned heavily by some salt and pepper stores that the dwarven caravan had in their inventory. The cauldron began to slowly simmer into a nice vegetable and meat stew, and soon the entire caravan and rescuing war party convened around the bonfire as heavy winds and rain descended outside. A crack of thunder rolled through the jungle, but even that was drowned out by the jovial banter between dwarves.

Several of the amazon warriors were laying out bedspreads and tents in the cavern. With the warm glow of the dwarven lamps attached to the walls and the rows of tents set up two to three meters apart from each other, it was beginning to feel a lot like home. 

“Since we don’t have enough individual tents, you will stay with me tonight, if that’s alright with you,” the busty Vesta said to Devon. She didn’t eat much that night, spending her time nursing her bruises from earlier. 

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Score 7.0
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2019
After death, Devon is given the second chance he never wanted. He decides to make the most out of his new life, exploring all that life in this new world has to offer, whether that be adventuring or soliciting elf girl prostitutes.



not work with dark mode