Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself I’ll find other ways to be happy Vol 00 Chp 148

Battle of the Boobs

With just shy over a thousand points accrued on his backrooms guilds obsidian card, Devon was looking forward to seeing what kind of amenities he could purchase with that kind of point accumulation. 


“Let’s route these jaguars!” 


The battle cries of the large breasted amazons were met by relieved sighs from the dwarves up ahead, who had already deployed their massive net siege engines and portable ballistic systems against the oversized and highly dangerous jaguars that roamed the treacherous jungle. 

Numbering almost a hundred, the massive jaguars were clearly in their home territory here, using the dark corners of the cavern to their advantage to launch surprise attacks and attempt to drag unsuspecting dwarves away. 

The dwarves combatted the darkness by installing their oil lanterns at key positions on rocks for central visibility and attached to the cavern walls to illuminate the corners of the room. But Devon noticed that the jaguars, which had a heightened visual acuity in the dark compared to dwarves and humans, were specifically targeting those oil lanterns, trying to swat them down or tear them from the wall as best as they could. The dwarves were retaliating by defending the lanterns as groups, and so there were huddles of dwarves and a siege weapon around two or three installations of lamps. 

Four massive jaguars leapt at a small dwarven group huddled around a lamp installment guarded by a dwarf piloted ballistic siege weapon. The ballistic piercing arrow missed, and the mace wielding dwarves took a few quick swings before they were knocked down by the overwhelming size advantage of the jungle cats. 

The jaws came down fast and without mercy. Despite the struggles of the poor dwarf pinned underneath that giant jaguar, the jaguar’s teeth clamped around its neck and bit in. These beasts were experts at killing, and went straight for the jugular by the most literal and originating meaning of the phrase. 

Devon sped into action. Despite not knowing them for long, he thought of the dwarves as nice people. He wasn’t going to just sit around watching them die for no reason. 

And plus, there were points to be collected. 

Summoning a gust of tailwind behind him, Devon accelerated with an uncontrolled poof of wind, stumbling forwards after closing a ten meter distance within a second. Regaining his balance, he caught the jaguar who was still stooped over the dying dwarf and swung the moonlight steel blade with the pommel of Mjolnir from left to right, the blade lacerating horizontally across its body.

The slice was powerful, but also poorly controlled. Devon lost his grip on the sword and it came out of his grasp. 

Without missing a split second, he remembered the busty blonde haired Knight Aurora’s spear and magic swordsmanship technique, and conjured a plume of his favorite element– the wind element– in his left palm. Remembering to sharpen and hone the puff of wind into a deadly slicing miniature galestorm, he let loose the magic on the jaguar’s behind. 

The cutting wind blast sliced right into the jaguar’s back muscle, dealing debilitating damage in conjunction with the sword swing from earlier. The beast fell, and Devon felt a very faint glow coming from within his pocket as the magic kill counter accrued another five points for his obsidian card from a beast kill. 

The other three jaguars that attacked with the one he just killed looked startled by the sudden appearance of a wind mage. They backed off into the shadows, stalking and looking for a new opportunity to strike. 

“Thank you, lad,” the dwarf who was lying on the ground said with a cracked grin. Half his tooth was missing and blood was dripping from his mouth, and there was a mangled laceration at the side of his neck from the jaws of the beast, but he was very much alive. The dwarves were much hardier folk than Devon had first anticipated. 

“No problem,” Devon replied, giving the dwarf a helping hand to get back up on his feet.

The rest of the huddle of dwarves gave him approving nods, as the ballistic siege engine pilot dwarf gave him a thumbs up before rearming his ballistic machine. 

On the other side of the battlefield, it was just flashes of boobs and ass everywhere, as the gorgeous yet deadly all-female hit squad of large women who looked like oversexualized and unrealistically curvy products of an MMO character creation screen took the combat to the jaguars with deadly efficiency. 

It was a lot different compared to when only Vesta and Echo were escorting the dwarven convoy. With such a formidable force of female warriors this time around, their fighting power was multiplied by tenfold. 

Devon could just sit back as those bouncing asses and tits clear the entire room of beasts with such flare and expertise. 


I forgot to post public chapters for a while hehe~ patreon is now 100 chapters ahead~

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Dead Man’s Harem. Since I can’t kill myself, I’ll find other ways to be happy

Score 7.0
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2019
After death, Devon is given the second chance he never wanted. He decides to make the most out of his new life, exploring all that life in this new world has to offer, whether that be adventuring or soliciting elf girl prostitutes.



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